Suicide can feel difficult to talk about. When someone you care about is struggling with depression, grief, burnout, other mental health concerns or a crisis, you may worry about asking whether they are having thoughts of suicide.
You may wonder what to say, how to ask, or whether bringing up the topic of suicide could make things worse.
It won’t.
Asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not increase their risk of suicide. Instead, it can create an opportunity for an important conversation.
Talking about – or asking someone directly: “are you thinking about suicide?” or “are you thinking about ending your life,” does not put the idea into their head.
Sometimes, the fear of saying the wrong thing can cause us to avoid the conversation all together. You may worry that you won’t know how to respond or what to do.
But avoiding the conversation can leave someone feeling even more alone.
This blog covers some helpful bases to empower and resource you in navigating this topic.
What are suicidal thoughts?
Suicidal thoughts can range from thinking about death, wishing you were not here anymore, to thinking about ending your life.
These thoughts can occur for many different reasons. There is often no single cause of suicide or suicidal thoughts. A combination of personal, social and situational factors can contribute, and these factors can look different from one person to another.
Someone experiencing suicidal thoughts may feel overwhelmed, hopeless, trapped, isolated, or unable to see a way forward.
It’s important to remember that experiencing suicidal thoughts is a sign that someone may need support. You do not have to manage these thoughts alone.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you may have been struggling or suffering for some time. You may also be going through a difficult time that has become overwhelming more recently. Whatever the circumstances, reaching out for support can be an important first step.
There is hope and support.
How can you tell when someone may be struggling with suicidal thoughts?
There isn’t always an obvious warning sign, but it can be helpful to keep the following in mind. Someone who is struggling may:
- Talk about wanting to die or not wanting to be here anymore
- Talk about feeling trapped or unable to cope
- Express feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or being a burden
- Withdraw from family, friends or activities they usually enjoy
- Experience significant changes in mood or behaviour – they may not seem like themselves
- Have difficulty functioning in their everyday life
- Give away possessions or say goodbye in unusual or unexpected ways
Not everyone experiencing suicidal thoughts will show noticeable warning signs. Experiencing one or more of these signs does not automatically mean someone is suicidal. However, they may be signs someone is struggling and could benefit from support.
If you’re concerned, talk to them.
What should I say if I’m worried about someone?
You don’t need to be a therapist to have a supportive conversation or offer support. Start somewhere simple. You can open the door by asking about how they’re doing and feeling:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been having a really difficult time lately. How are you doing?”
If you’re concerned about whether the person has been having thoughts suicide, you can ask directly. Here are some examples:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
“Have you had thoughts about ending your life?”
“You said you’re feeling ‘done’, does that mean you’re thinking about suicide?”
Asking directly may feel uncomfortable, but it can communicate care and support. It lets the person know that you’re willing to have an honest conversation without judgment.
You don’t have to know exactly what to say.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
You don’t need to fix everything.
What if someone tells me they’re thinking about suicide?
If someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, take them seriously and try to stay calm. Thinking about suicide does not necessarily mean a person is at immediate risk of ending their life. You don’t need to have all the answers or know exactly what to do.
Try to listen rather than immediately trying to solve their problems. You might say:
“Thank you for telling me. You don’t have to go through this by yourself.”
“I’m glad you told me. I can help you find support.”
You don’t have to have the perfect response. Being present, listening without judgement, and helping someone connect with appropriate support can make a difference.
Talking about suicidal thoughts may feel scary – for you, and the person experiencing these thoughts. That’s understandable, and at the same time, being able to talk openly about these thoughts is an important first step towards getting support.
What if I’m worried about someone’s immediate safety?
If you are concerned the person may be in immediate danger or unable to keep themselves safe, stay with the person and seek immediate support.
Call 9-1-1, or take them to the nearest the Emergency Department. You do not have to manage the situation on your own.
A person may need immediate help if:
- They say they intend to end their life
- They have a plan to end their life
- They tell you they cannot keep themselves safe
- You believe there’s an immediate risk they may harm themselves
Crisis and Suicide Resources and Support
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, you can call or text:
9-8-8, Canada’s Suicide Crisis Helpline. Available 24/7 across Canada. This crisis service provides bilingual, trauma-informed and culturally appropriate support from trained responders.
You don’t have to wait until you are certain that there is an immediate risk before reaching out.
Mental Health Resources in Timmins
There are several sources of support for mental health in Timmins and area.
Timmins & District Hospital Crisis Line:
705-264-3003 or toll-free at 1-888-340-3003
Available 24/7. You do not need to be experiencing suicidal thoughts to access support.
Canadian Mental Health Association Timmins (CMHA)
(705) 267-8100
201–330 Second Ave, Timmins, ON
Walk-in and/or call-in mental health and addiction services for immediate support from Monday-Friday 8:30am-12pm to 1pm-4:30pm. No appointment necessary.
Clarity Counselling Services
Call or text: 705-221-6789
or book online here https://claritycounsellingservices.janeapp.com/
We are not an emergency service. We provide short-term therapy or ongoing therapeutic support.
Clarity Counselling Services provides therapy in Timmins, for individuals, from children to teens and adults, as well as couples and family therapy. We also provide phone and virtual therapy throughout Ontario.
Our therapists work with a range of concerns including depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, stress, grief and more.
How can therapy help?
Therapy is not only for people who are experiencing a crisis.
For individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts, we assess risk and collaborate with our clients on safety planning, while building coping skills for difficult emotions and situations. Through a caring therapeutic relationship, we help our clients explore and address address the circumstances that may be contributing to suicidal thoughts.
Therapy can provide a safe and supportive place to talk openly about what is happening and receive professional support for navigating difficult experiences, past or present.
Therapy can also be helpful for family members, partners, and friends who are supporting someone experiencing suicidal thoughts. Those supporting others deserve support too.
We’re here for you,
- The Clarity Counselling Services Team
References
Public Health Agency of Canada. (2024). Preventing suicide: When and how to help. Government of Canada. https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/suicide-prevention/warning-signs.html
World Health Organization. (2023). Preventing suicide: A resource for media professionals (2023 update). https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240076846
World Suicide Prevention Day https://www.who.int/campaigns/world-suicide-prevention-day
9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline. (n.d.). Talk to someone you are worried about. https://988.ca/get-help/talk-to-someone-you-are-worried-about